Working Through Infidelity In A Relationship
Affair Recovery
Infidelity is one of the most challenging and painful issues a couple can face, often leading to feelings of betrayal, guilt, and confusion. Statistics show that approximately 20-25% of married individuals admit to engaging in infidelity at some point during their relationship.
Despite the prevalence of affairs, healing and rebuilding trust is possible with the right support. Infidelity counseling offers a safe space for couples to explore the underlying causes of the betrayal, process complex emotions, and work toward rebuilding a stronger foundation.
While it can be difficult to navigate the aftermath of an affair, therapy provides guidance and tools to restore trust, improve communication, and help couples redefine their relationship on new, healthier terms.
Types of Infidelity:
There are many different perspectives on what constitutes an extramarital affair. This varies amongst couples because it is based on their own beliefs and values.
With that being said, below are a list of potential types of affairs that couples experience:
This type of affair occurs when an individual connects with someone through an online platform, engaging in conversation and crossing boundaries with the content that is shared.
This type of affair occurs when one partner becomes emotionally connected to another individual outside of the relationship. This other individual is usually of the gender to whom the individual is attracted. One may spend an exorbitant amount of time communicating with this other individual and sharing deep emotional experiences, inside jokes and personal thoughts and feelings. By sharing this more intimate information with someone outside of the marriage instead of their own partner, an individual becomes disconnected from their relationship.
Finances can be a point of tension in some marriages, with conflict stemming from resentment over who makes more, who spends more, and how to adequately save. Financial affairs occur when an individual begins to turn deceitful towards their partner – hiding from them how much money is earned, how that money is earned, the amount of debt they may owe, and how money is spent. Some individuals may even hide money in hopes of keeping it a secret from their partner.
A physical affair is one in which there is sexual relations or intercourse outside of the marriage. It does not necessarily entail a deep emotional attachment.
Microcheating occurs when there is no intention of straying outside of the relationship, but the individual continues to participate in behaviors that their partner finds irritating, such as being flirtatious towards others of the opposite sex.
Object affair is one in which an individual is pursuing an outside interest that negatively impacts the time, attention and consideration given to the relationship itself. The preoccupation tends to present as more of an obsession rather than simply a hobby or interest.
These types of affairs can include but are not limited to, phone usage, fixation on work, involvement with sports teams or social groups.
Why Affairs Happen
Affairs can occur for many reasons, and understanding these factors is an important step in the healing process. Some common causes of infidelity include:
- Emotional Disconnect: When one or both partners feel emotionally neglected or unsupported, they may seek validation, attention, or affection from someone outside the relationship.
- Unresolved Conflict: Couples who avoid or struggle to resolve ongoing conflicts may develop resentment, which can lead to an emotional or physical affair as a form of escape or retaliation.
- Lack of Intimacy: A decline in physical or emotional intimacy can create distance between partners, leaving one or both feeling unfulfilled or disconnected.
- Opportunity and Temptation: Situational factors, such as extended travel or workplace relationships, can sometimes lead to infidelity, especially if boundaries have not been clearly established.
- Low Self-esteem: Individuals with low self-esteem may seek out affairs to boost their confidence or feel desired by someone new.
- Boredom: Routine or stagnation in a long-term relationship can lead some individuals to seek excitement or novelty in an extramarital affair.
Understanding the root causes of an affair is essential for both partners as it allows them to address the underlying issues that may have contributed to the betrayal.
